I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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