If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
there is glitter all over my balls
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