I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
