That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
