So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
