I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
