I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
