New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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