what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
