Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize