doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
