Buhtt sex?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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