My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
