who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
