____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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