Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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