You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
