I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
