you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
