how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
