Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
