Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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