I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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