He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
