Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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