Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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