Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
