White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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