It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize