Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
