Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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