A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
