i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize