You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
