Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We're too hungover to prance.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
