Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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