Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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