I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
