it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
