WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
