I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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