You're completely useless in the revolution.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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