VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
