I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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