thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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