whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
