Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
