haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize