this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
