You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
