puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i think i just lost a toe
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
