That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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