There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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