He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
