some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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