The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The uberlube is also flammable
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How does one acquire holy water?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
