I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
