i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
