I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
