Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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