i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
