Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
