tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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